Ego….the number one killer of restaurants!

As I was watching another episode of one of Chef Gordon Ramsey’s “F-bomb” laced shows, I was truly reminded as to WHY restaurants usually fail……EGO.

Now we can go back-and-forth pontificating on whether ego is good or bad (I subscribe that it is both) but for restaurateurs and chefs it can bring disaster.

Here is how I arrive at said statement.
Most restaurants that fail, do so because their menus are too big, too expensive, to confusing or a little of all of that. What and who sets those menus…..hmmmmmm?

Do you really think that 95% of the public goes out twice or three times a week to drop 60 – 100 bucks a shot on each dinner? Do you think that foie gras milkshakes will drive the majority of diners’ ga-ga? Yes, those dishes look divine (a.k.a. food art) and yes the ambiance is awesome. Do you think your tiny portioned “CREATIVE and EXCITING” dishes are truly the way to culinary success?
Yes, they can be, in the right place and given the right chef but those places and chefs are few and far between.
Remember, there is an extremely small number of people frequenting those locations and an even smaller number of chefs and owners that have what it takes to make is successful.
Yet, year-in, year-out the numbers that try are amazing.

I know one owner that will not put grits and biscuits and gravy on his menu….he is in the heart of Georgia….the South and has a breakfast and lunch place. He doesn’t do it because he doesn’t understand it….how can people eat that? He is not doing nearly the business he could and should be doing. Another better known chef was going to take the city of Atlanta by storm with his “culinary and edgy genius” like the aforementioned milk shakes and when it failed, very quickly, the chef condemned the palates of Atlantans. I guess we just don’t get it!

Now I have watched my third episode in a row of Gordon Ramsey’s rantings….it all boiled down to failing restaurants that did not give the people what the people wanted.

The owner and or chef gave the people what “THEY” (the chef / owner) wanted. Fortunately, GR turned the places around….until he left, only to go back later to find most had slipped back into their own egocentric ways.

Owners, chefs, I beseech you. Study your market, LISTEN and OBSERVE to what has worked and not worked, let the PEOPLE speak….follow THEIR whims …NOT YOURS and do it well, price it fairly, and give them reasonable portions of what they understand.

The greatest and most humbling experience you can have is when someone comes back to your restaurant time-and-again and tells his or her friends about it.
Why not try and get some of that great feeling, be happily humbled (if you can) for if you do, I have a feeling YOU will be as successful as you ever dreamed and you and your chef can enjoy the exhilaration of success rather than the pain of bruised egos and busted checkbooks.

I wonder what Ray Kroch would say, after all it’s only a hamburger, fries and shakes…hmmmmmmmm?

I'm proud of my Country, my troops and my first responders....I will not apologize!

A couple of weeks ago we were taping a show at the 14th Annual Atlanta Garden and Patio Show in a beautiful facility known as the Cobb Galleria. Thousands of people streaming in and out and we had standing room only crowds for our 2 tapings....very humbling to be sure (I have to set this scene up...that's what a host does)! We were playing some rousing patriotic type music, the crowd was worked up, then I came out to greet the crowd. I always like to tell a little story usually unrehearsed this is how it went.
A few months ago we had been approached by a TV producer about the possibility of taking Chef and the Fatman to TV. Although not extremely excited (I personally am not a HUGE fan of TV)Chef and I met with the producer and after a couple of meetings things seemed to be progressing well. While we were in the throws of trying to finalize the concept for a "shoot", the producer (whom I shall not name) went to our site, listened to a couple of shows and proceeded to tell me what he liked and felt needed to be "fixed". We were in total agreement up to the last point....then it completely fell apart. The producer noticed that we always sign off with a salute to our troops and first responders and that we might be a little over the top on our "patriotism"....we might want to think about dropping that, as there are some people that may not agree or may not feel as I do. I took his advice!
I dropped it....the TV show thing I mean.
I never called or e-mailed him back!
I will not make excuses for or be told I can't be what I am. I am a proud former member of the military, flag wearing, flag waving American that is truly proud and thrilled to have been born in a country that has given me and mine so much.
Now I know for certain Presidential candidates wearing the flag on their lapel WON'T happen, and the wife of said candidate may NOT be proud of our countries past, that's OK, that's their choice and I will defend their right to voice that choice no matter how distasteful I find it. That is what our country stands for....that is "the American way".
As a proud American I make you this pledge!
I will NEVER dumb-down my core beliefs in order to be accepted by those who DON'T love our country (but claim they love it more than I).
I will NEVER make excuses for my outward display of pride in America, God and Country!
Finally, I will to the best of my efforts, at the end of every show make sure "that we pray for our troops and our first responders for they are the reason we have the freedoms we enjoy so much....the price of freedom....is never free! God bless everyone, we look forward to being with you again next week!"
That my friends I BELIEVE is the American Way!

Fats

Merry Christmas . . . Finally

I hope this blog finds all well and that you had a most enjoyable Christmas and New Year!

This particular Christmas was especially MERRY for me. This year, for the first time in many, people wished ME "Merry Christmas" before I could wish it to them...yes, I know this comes as a shock but a huge number (as high as 25 - 30% of folks who came thru my cigar store this year) wished ME "Merry Christmas".

My friends "Merry Christmas" was everywhere (well almost)!

For me, it started at Dollywood the first weekend in December (no surprise there, Dollywood has ALWAYS been a bastion of Merry Christmas) and, as we returned to the reality of post-Dollywood everyday life in a PC world, I was re-energized, ready to be the lone wolf in the wilderness of the holiday spirit once again, howling out my "Merry Christmas" to the vast bitter and lonely world of PC'ers.

It has been that way for the past 10 to 15 years as the insidious demons of PC continued to wage war against the Christmas spirit!

You all know the demons. They are easily identified....the ones who want to be their kids "best friend" instead of their parent. They want their child to learn the proper technique for putting on a condom before they can read, write or even learn math. They want their children to know that Heather has Two Mommies. Finally they want their family to be "in touch" with their feelings and take charge of everyone else's and heaven forbid their child should OFFEND someone.

These PC creatures have been coming out in the light and out from under their murky shadows (where they belong) way too much for my taste.

I truly believe the PC life style was created so left wing wackos could have access to the mainstream....and by God (sorry if I offended anyone for invoking the name of the almighty...NOT) they succeeded.

It started out with the little subtleties like saying "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". We wouldn't want to offend our Muslim or Jewish friends (in all my years of growing up I never heard one person, Jew, Muslim or atheist protest to a hearty well intentioned Merry Christmas) but then, as they always do, the demons sleazily infiltrated our schools, pandering their bilge to the young and innocent.

First they ban traditional Christmas Carols, then renamed Christmas parties as "Winter Solstice parties", and they have even gone so far as to ban the playing of ANY Christmas related music, the use of red and green, and candy canes for God's sake...yes, it's all true and documented, then came the removal of ALL Christmas symbols....the odorous Christmas tree, the sickening manger scenes and the hideous Santa Claus...from our squares and towns. Well, as usual, they went too far. They crossed our "line in the sand" and this year "Merry Christmas" was beginning to roll of peoples tongues with vigor, and smiles of "thanks" and appreciation for the greeting was more the norm than not.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't nearly what it was as I remembered as a child growing up in a small Northern Illinois town (OK, if you must know; Sycamore, IL)...but it's a start to the new year and a reinvigorated Christmas spirit!

A wonderful, cheerful and most glorious start, I now feel that one day I will be allowed to drive a stake of holly through the heart (if I can find it) of the PC demons, and banish them to a Christmas Village where maybe, just maybe, they will "get the spirit". Who knows...it might happen, the PC'er you know just may wish YOU a "Merry Christmas"...and to all a good night!

Fatman

Rude people just need to be slapped...at least VERBALLY!

As I continue to age, I like so many before me, pine about the "good old days". Yes, my youth was great but what we have now and the technology we have is greater...however, what we've lost is really horrific...we've lost one of our most prized possessions...COURTEOUSNESS. We are becoming more of a "what's in it for me" and "it's all about me" society, so much so, that RUDENESS is becoming the norm, and we as a society are to blame for allowing it to happen, by doing nothing and letting the RUDENICKS rule the day. I for one am tired of it and would like to recruit some like minded "courteousness seekers" to join me.

When I was a child growing up, courteousness ruled-the-day (yes sir, no ma'am...respect for elders and women) or, the back-of-the-hand took center stage. We or anyone around us that were rude or selfish were quickly chastised and as culprits, we were embarrassed or shamed into ceasing our rude behavior...NOT TODAY! Take note of what happened to us recently (and this is just one of many daily rudenick stories y'all know very well).

She who must and I were at our favorite Waffle House yesterday and the place was crowded and service was really rough (a lot of employee "sick calls). A rudenick was sitting at the counter nursing a cup of coffee (which is all he had). He got up and disappeared for about 15 minutes, when he reappeared a to-go order was sitting on the counter in front of him (the only place it could be put). Now, all hell is breaking loose in the store and rudenick loudly demands that "this bag be moved"...it bothers him, this is HIS spot. The staff did move it and the poor woman who was desperately waiting for someone to take her money at the register FINALLY came back to get her food and the fiasco continued. She looked for five minutes for her food...rudenick says nothing, finally a (courteous) patron pointed out her food, which she promptly went behind the counter to get and left, obviously distressed, while rudenick just sat there nursing his coffee.

About ten minutes later rudenick saw someone he new, so he jumped up again, this time taking his cup and he ran outside for about 20 minutes during which time a couple had come-in, waited for about 10 minutes and then took two of the three obviously empty places at the counter (why not, no one had been sitting there for at least 10 minutes). Now, while the couple VERY patiently waited another 10-15 minutes for someone to take their order, in walks rudenick and nastily says to the woman sitting on "his" stool, "I would like to have my seat back...now", bewildered at his rudeness, she and her husband got up, obviously angry and left! Waffle House looses two customers and retains rudenick....hmmmm, not a great business model in my opinion.

Now, what would have happened if it had been me, is as follows. We would have taken "our" seats that were obviously empty and then when rudenick came up to us and announced "I would like to have my seat back...now", I would have proudly retorted "I would like to ban the world or rudenicks....now, but since that is obviously NEVER going to happen, then I will choose to remain in "OUR" seats and YOU can have the empty one over there!"...I just VERBALLY slapped him.

Now, it is important to note that I saw the reaction of several people that witnessed rudenicks earlier rantings and they appeared to be equally as sickened by rudenick as I had been. Can you imagine the applause or the happiness I would have brought to everyone around me if I had been sitting in that seat!

Please my friends, let's work together to bring back good old fashioned courteousness, let's return to our 21st century the fine old tradition of respect and decency, let's make shame and embarrassment mean something again.

Let technology not be the only thing we can be proud of "as we boldly go where no man has gone before" sorry pcr's (see, courteousness). Take a VERBAL slap at rudenicks, it feels good and "it's good for ya"! Remember "only YOU can prevent rudenicks" (sorry, Smoky).


Fatman

Most restaurant reviewers are low, but "food snobs" are LOWER

Our show, Chef and the Fatman the Blue Collar Chefs, besides doing a live cooking show for two hours each and every week, we also have been in the restaurant review business for the better part of the five years we have been on the air, we have reviewed over 185 restaurants in five cities.

We started our reviews as a on-air "response" to the bevy of sarcastic, bashing, nasty, skulking and ego driven reviewers that I had been exposed to over the years. The "Food Weasels" as I refer to them are the spineless jellyfish that hide behind their anonymity (claiming loudly, "it is the only TRUE way to be credible"...they honestly believe that) as they scorch, sear and shred restaurant owners much more often than they compliment them, it is their "BADGE of EGO" they so fondly wish for, since anonymity strips away their "fame", no picture no way to recognize these geniuses, so they have to be content with the fact that people "talk",laugh and chortle about their latest addition to their gastronomic "trash heap". They try and build their reputation off the sweat, toil and hard work of those that have the cajones to "put it out there" for all to see, feel, touch (with gloves I hope)hopefully consume and yes even critique. Sad but it is the life they choose. I would like to add this little caviate...NOT ALL restaurant reviewers are weasels....there are some decent ones out there...I just can't remember who they are, and that is good.

This blog is not about the Review Weasels this time! It is about a more insidious creature skulking around the culinary world....the dreaded "food snob".

Believe it or not, the "food snob" is in my opinion WORSE than the Review Weasels....they are even further below contempt, to me, than the aforementioned RW's. Thanks to the internet the food snobs are becoming more emboldened. As "food snobs" watch their "food snob" buddies get and find more "screen time", they feel that THEY should gain equal or greater recognition by sharing "their genius" with their very small world. "Food snobs" are the self proclaimed "gastronomic geniuses" with their only credentials (most of the time)being, "they eat out a lot" most of the time by themselves or in very small "food snob" packs. The "food snob" is the one that rips, tears and snarls at anything they don't agree with reviewer or fellow threader alike, THEY decide who should or should not be reviewed, THEY rip the reviewers and write the most vitriolic names, and yes, they are known to only a select few by their REAL names, the few being like minded "snobs". They sneer with contempt at almost anything that isn't in "their opinion" upscale, they laugh with contempt at most any restaurant that doesn't plate properly...the dreaded "food snob" is beginning to believe that they are "credible" that they are worth listening too, that, my friends is why I am dragging them out of their sleazy hiding spots behind their little screens and dragging them kicking and shrieking into the purity of the light, the light of fairness and revelation.

Food snobs cheer plating and small portions with HUGE prices...because that is "UPSCALE. Oh yes, they even have their own cutesy jargon, their cool hip IM acronyms....they've got it all baby....

They will spew forth all of the above with great relish, oh yes, the above and so much more....all from the security blanket of their tiny little screens "sending" their ugliness across the airwaves nightly (or whenever the great unwashed dares to question their favorite "resto").... I often wonder, what would "food snobs" REALLY say or do if they had to tell their bilge to someone face-to-face. I'll never know, because "food snobs" never will. It would be fun to see!

"Food snobs" opinions may actually be accurate at times, seldom, but at times. Their postings may even be witty, rarely, but you will always know who the "food snobs" are, for they will post to the world and proclaim to everyone of their genius...after all they eat out more than you do... "almost every nite". They will spew forth from their little screens and then, they will post their web name....proudly.

Y'all know who you are and we all know who they are (at least by screen name)...so I offer this "suggestion".

Why not tell people WHERE to go and why...not WHERE not to go with nastiness.

Come out from your murky shadows....TELL PEOPLE proudly who you are, state your "opinions" (try using the word SUGGESTIONS...it goes a lot further)to the owners, chefs, servers or other patrons, be helpful not hateful, be a true reviewer NOT a negative critiquer. Take responsibility for your actions and try to help the owner AND the consumer. Bring something POSITIVE to the "plate".

For if you do, you will rise out of the murky depths of sleaziness and breathe in the fresh-air of fairness, it will feel oh so good....try it, and let me know who you are. I'd be honored to know you. I will welcome you with open arms to the "positive"-side of our industry and you will become welcome anywhere....come scattered, smothered or chunked...I'll leave the light on for ya. And I won't care what "resto" you like....honest!

Respectfully submitted,

Fatman
Kevin Jenkins
Host
Chef and the Fatman

You may speak to me face-to-face at a weekly public appearance near you. It's on our appearance page.

Life is good, in Cordele, GA

It is with a fond farewell that I bid adieu to the 58Th Annual Watermelon Festival in Cordele GA (about 3:15 minutes South of Woodstock GA). This year was in many ways a milestone for me and the the show.

It was the Official Release of our first Cookbook, Chef and the Fatman Red, White and Blue Collar Cookin', our first book signing, the first Watermelon Festival for young 1 yr old Lindsay aka "little blob" as I affectionately refer to her as (Mike and Chris Bresnan's offspring) it was a festival milestone (our fourth official trip to the same event) in our five year on-air history and yes, the first time I had a chance to eat some AWESOME BBQ at Smoakies on Cemetery LN. I had my first interview with a local media legend...Phil Streetman (who had already interviewed me five times in the last four years) who has spent the last 48 years on local radio and television, bringing locals a "little good news today" like I am sure Anne Murray would be proud of, this might be Phil's last year covering the Festival, I know he will be sorely missed not only for his obvious love for the Festival but for his true "American Spirit" that drove him every day (three interviews a day 7 days a week) to find the "good news" (which is so much harder).

Ah, so many firsts, although memorable, it was the constants that really made me feel whole again. The incredible friendliness of the people of Cordele everyone saying hello, hi, how are ya? (and meaning it), Monica Simmons (the President of the Cordele/Crsip County Chamber of Commerce) running crazy but gettin er done! It was dinner at the Daphne Lodge and the fabulous fried pickles, drinking a couple of ice cold beers on our little deck outside the very fine Best Western on a warm balmy Cordlele evening. The extreme triple digit heat index on the show set in cozy Watermelon Park, it was Watermelon Queens singing country classics, and the town crooners singing God Bless America. It's watermelon eating contests viewed by hundreds of happy onlookers cheering on their favorite "slogger" (name for contestant), kids coming up for air with watermelon juice covering them from head-to-toe and no mother caring. It's guys and gals of all ages and social strata working very hard to catch the wind as their watermelon seed comes flying out of their mouths, delighting the crowds but making every "spitter" take note of techniques used and making sure the judges count every inch but giving none.

Yes, Doc Hollywood can have his "squash festival" it looked nice, as nice as Hollywood could make it, but for me, give me Cordele Watemelons (the sweetest watermelon in the country...it's the soil you know), the 59Th Annual Cordele Watermelon Festival and the REALITY of that hot summer weekend next year, all the firsts and all of the constants that I will be experiencing with such relish, and....I'll be happy, happy to just "spit one" for the team and remember how lucky I am to be in Cordele GA for the 59th Annual Watermelon Festival.

Then all will truly be at peace with my world.

Thank you Cordele!


Fats

Salt and Pepper.....Why is it so difficult?

On this beautiful warm sunny day in Georgia, when everything seems right with the world, I feel obligated to raise a concern with restaurant owners in order to make my day even better. Owners it's your salt and pepper shakers, those little conniving containers that have caused me grief yet again, this morning, and it's time for me to make MY day even better by telling you about it!
I don't know, maybe it's me, but whenever I go into a restaurant and reach for the salt and pepper shaker I feel like a real crap-shoot is about to begin, will I, or won't I, have to take the lid off the shakers in order to season my food!
I challenge you friends to go into a decent restaurant or most any restaurant for that matter and use the salt and pepper shakers without having to take the top off, go ahead try it ( I know most of you know where I am going with this). You shake, you shake harder, then you bang and then...you take the lid off (those holes in the container are ALWAYS to small).
Oh, I know there are those of you out there that are more physically fit than I (probably 90%), and that you truly enjoy the shaking, banging and the eventual aerobic workout that you receive before you are blessed with a "dash" of either or both, to you, I have nothing to say.
For me, I just want to pick up the shaker and with minimal effort apply my condiments and eat on...but no, most restaurants feel incumbent upon themselves to create this challenge for me and mine, and to you I say...SHAME.
I often ponder as to why it is that the nicer the restaurant, the smaller the openings on their shakers? I guess it follows right along with the nicer the plating, the smaller the portions the smaller the portions , the higher the price. I get it....you are looking out for me, thanks, but no thanks.
Owners, why not take a moment and "walk in my moccasins" as the great Charles Carnegie once wrote and shake your shakers baby, then please make sure those shakers that go on your tables are dispensing with ease instead of causing us all of the aforementioned hassles and the eventual opening of the lids and inevitable pouring out to much condiment ruining, your culinary delights.
Step up, be a leader in your industry...shake it one tiiiiime for US, your customer.
Make our dining experience juuuust a little more memorable, we would appreciate it.
In return, maybe we won't be as disgruntled with your smaller portions and nicer plating, maybe just maybe, we won't grumble so much about the sticker shock....maybe.
I finish with this side note: I cannot guarantee to silence the grumbling of my 1/2 empty stomach, from the weenie portions you have plated so beautifully and I am still unable to control the chirping of the crickets coming from my completely empty wallet, for that, I humbly apologize!