Thursday, February 3, 2011

I want it MY way and I want it NOW.....

Oh, how many times in the restaurant or service industry have we heard that line...or a variation there of. Well, let me address the restaurant industry as I have a little more recent knowledge of it.
First off, I would like to thank Burger King for providing our society with the concept of "Have it your way". This was a clever, but simple high-end NY ad agency catch phrase but one phrase that has unleashed a generation of uncontrolled, boorish "I want it my ways" into our culture.
I want my sandwich this way, NOT the way that way you make it, I want to switch this for that, I want extra this in PLACE of that, I want a quarter of it this way 1/2 another and 1/4 that way, oh, and I want extra this sauce, and this sauce and I want more fries these aren't enough and I want.....and I want.....and I want....but I DON'T WANT TO PAY ANY EXTRA and tipping is after all up to my discretion...I just want it MY WAY, that's "your job" if you want to keep MY business!
The "I wants" examples above are really NOT all that exaggerated and the numbers of "I wants" are swelling out of control, this is what scares me.
Alas, I truly believe this is an outcropping of our societal lapses. I call it the era of Entitlement....I WANT, I'm entitled.
Believe me my friends this goes much deeper than just an eating joint...the "I wants" are pervasive throughout the service industry and our communities at large, I believe this attitude has flourished because our moral compass is WAY OFF...we have lost our sense of reason, sensibility and shame, we have taken that clever ad agency slogan that simply let people know that they (BK)were offering choices to their burgers and created a NIGHTMARISH group of consumers that have put a horrible and a disturbing unnecessary burden on our industry by suggesting that we all are ENTITLED to what "we want" our way all the time at NO COST.
Now,PLEASE don't confuse the "I wants" with the "would it be possibles". The "I wants" demand, nay, expect WHATEVER demand they want to be met AND to be met at the industries and owners expense, whereas the "would it be possibles" ASK if it would be possible to have and if told no...understand and don't explode or walk out or unleash nasty diatribes...or, perish the thought, the "would it be possibles" will even pay an extra charge for their requests. These my friends the "would it be possibles" are the group we all should applaud, acknowledge and respect...the "would it be possibles" are a group that GETS what our industries do and RESPECTS what our decisions may be...yes, the "would it be possibles" exist in REAL life not just in Grimm's Fairy Tales...for I am a devout "would it be possible" and proud of it.
The "I wants" neither GET IT nor respect the service industry, after all "it is the SERVICE industry" after all, YOU should SERVICE me anyway I demand (now keep it clean)...that's "YOUR JOB"...and "if you don't like it, get out of it" ...the "I wants" NEEDS to be acknowledged also, acknowledged and ridiculed and yes, banished (I know that will never happen but we can dream, HUH?).
I would like to address the "I wants" common phrase "if you don't like it, get out of it" you see "I wants", many of us love and respect our industry and those that "serve" in it...we get it and we KNOW what we are there for and what to we stay in it, despite you, despite your obnoxious and demanding ways...we GET YOU better than you GET we SERVE you despite you and most times with a smile...but we are getting tired of you...sooooooo, I offer this suggestion to help SERVE you to becoming a better customer, person, citizen and friend. Because I/we care we take the time to SERVE UP this simple suggestion.
Now my friends, before we get to the exciting suggestion (how about that for a shameless teaser) I would like to remind you that I have identified the "I wants", I have given a number of examples of their "wants", I have even explained why I believe they exist...I have identified the "would it be possibles" and shown their side, now it is my OBLIGATION to offer a suggestion as to how to get rid of these blights on our industry and our goes, are you ready?
I propose that EVERY one of those "I wants" be forced to work ONE WEEK as a service person...ONE WEEK on the other side of their selfish, boorish and obnoxious ways...ONE WEEK to walk in the service persons moccasins( old Indian quote used by Dale Carnegie in our sales course which I took, and proudly won,the coveted "Best of") before they are EVER allowed to walk into ANY restaurant or service industry establishments. Yes, let the "I wants" feel the barbs and arrows slung at servers and owners...let them grovel at their smelly demands...ahhhh, yes...even make them smile and say "SURE". I know the smile may HURT but heck, it will SERVE a higher purpose one day, maybe!

Serve on baby....

The Fatman

p.s. I hope you enjoyed the above blog, I hope you took it in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which I tried to present it. PLEASE before y'all start yammerin', yes, I realize the "I wants" are a small portion of the population but I contend that they are a small group, but this small group was microscopic just 10 years I want to do my part to prevent them from growing from small to "relatively small".
Call it my way to "serve" my brothas and sistahs of service and humanity as a whole!