Saturday, June 30, 2007

Most restaurant reviewers are low, but "food snobs" are LOWER

Our show, Chef and the Fatman the Blue Collar Chefs, besides doing a live cooking show for two hours each and every week, we also have been in the restaurant review business for the better part of the five years we have been on the air, we have reviewed over 185 restaurants in five cities.

We started our reviews as a on-air "response" to the bevy of sarcastic, bashing, nasty, skulking and ego driven reviewers that I had been exposed to over the years. The "Food Weasels" as I refer to them are the spineless jellyfish that hide behind their anonymity (claiming loudly, "it is the only TRUE way to be credible"...they honestly believe that) as they scorch, sear and shred restaurant owners much more often than they compliment them, it is their "BADGE of EGO" they so fondly wish for, since anonymity strips away their "fame", no picture no way to recognize these geniuses, so they have to be content with the fact that people "talk",laugh and chortle about their latest addition to their gastronomic "trash heap". They try and build their reputation off the sweat, toil and hard work of those that have the cajones to "put it out there" for all to see, feel, touch (with gloves I hope)hopefully consume and yes even critique. Sad but it is the life they choose. I would like to add this little caviate...NOT ALL restaurant reviewers are weasels....there are some decent ones out there...I just can't remember who they are, and that is good.

This blog is not about the Review Weasels this time! It is about a more insidious creature skulking around the culinary world....the dreaded "food snob".

Believe it or not, the "food snob" is in my opinion WORSE than the Review Weasels....they are even further below contempt, to me, than the aforementioned RW's. Thanks to the internet the food snobs are becoming more emboldened. As "food snobs" watch their "food snob" buddies get and find more "screen time", they feel that THEY should gain equal or greater recognition by sharing "their genius" with their very small world. "Food snobs" are the self proclaimed "gastronomic geniuses" with their only credentials (most of the time)being, "they eat out a lot" most of the time by themselves or in very small "food snob" packs. The "food snob" is the one that rips, tears and snarls at anything they don't agree with reviewer or fellow threader alike, THEY decide who should or should not be reviewed, THEY rip the reviewers and write the most vitriolic names, and yes, they are known to only a select few by their REAL names, the few being like minded "snobs". They sneer with contempt at almost anything that isn't in "their opinion" upscale, they laugh with contempt at most any restaurant that doesn't plate properly...the dreaded "food snob" is beginning to believe that they are "credible" that they are worth listening too, that, my friends is why I am dragging them out of their sleazy hiding spots behind their little screens and dragging them kicking and shrieking into the purity of the light, the light of fairness and revelation.

Food snobs cheer plating and small portions with HUGE prices...because that is "UPSCALE. Oh yes, they even have their own cutesy jargon, their cool hip IM acronyms....they've got it all baby....

They will spew forth all of the above with great relish, oh yes, the above and so much more....all from the security blanket of their tiny little screens "sending" their ugliness across the airwaves nightly (or whenever the great unwashed dares to question their favorite "resto").... I often wonder, what would "food snobs" REALLY say or do if they had to tell their bilge to someone face-to-face. I'll never know, because "food snobs" never will. It would be fun to see!

"Food snobs" opinions may actually be accurate at times, seldom, but at times. Their postings may even be witty, rarely, but you will always know who the "food snobs" are, for they will post to the world and proclaim to everyone of their genius...after all they eat out more than you do... "almost every nite". They will spew forth from their little screens and then, they will post their web name....proudly.

Y'all know who you are and we all know who they are (at least by screen name) I offer this "suggestion".

Why not tell people WHERE to go and why...not WHERE not to go with nastiness.

Come out from your murky shadows....TELL PEOPLE proudly who you are, state your "opinions" (try using the word goes a lot further)to the owners, chefs, servers or other patrons, be helpful not hateful, be a true reviewer NOT a negative critiquer. Take responsibility for your actions and try to help the owner AND the consumer. Bring something POSITIVE to the "plate".

For if you do, you will rise out of the murky depths of sleaziness and breathe in the fresh-air of fairness, it will feel oh so good....try it, and let me know who you are. I'd be honored to know you. I will welcome you with open arms to the "positive"-side of our industry and you will become welcome anywhere....come scattered, smothered or chunked...I'll leave the light on for ya. And I won't care what "resto" you like....honest!

Respectfully submitted,

Kevin Jenkins
Chef and the Fatman

You may speak to me face-to-face at a weekly public appearance near you. It's on our appearance page.

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